She listened patiently as he answered her questions, first telling her why her idea had merit, but then with equal logic, letting her know that her theory was most likely not correct. Then he stunned her with an admission of his own.
“And this…whatever this ends up being…it is not madness.”
As soon as he touched her shoulder, she felt that same energy from yesterday, like a shock of static electricity that made you move forward, not jump back. Instinctively, she reached over with her other hand and brought it up to cover the one that he’d rested on her shoulder, giving it a little squeeze before dropping her hand down again. She hoped that he would leave his hand where it was, at least for a few moments more.
So he felt it too. She thought he might have from a few of his reactions yesterday at the diner. Now he was admitting it outright without hesitation.
“I would know the difference, because I have…because I know all too well what it is like to fall into such a state, and I give you my word, that I would tell you honestly if I thought ourselves compromised.”
Her eyes widened when he admitted to falling into madness. Her gut wrenched. Of course, it had to be when Yaso was killed so brutally. Her heart ached for him and she was sure that the emotion she felt was written on her face. A warm breeze on her back made her want to fold him into her arms, but she didn’t, because she had no right to do so, not yet.
After opening up to her like he did, he really deserved to know the truth. Somehow in the deep recesses of her mind she *knew* that this man did not take lightly to whom he would reveal his inner thoughts and feelings. ‘No’, she thought, ‘Hajime is a very private man, but not to me’. That thought shook her to her core. Her instincts were telling her that he *needed* to hear more from her.
She knew he’d said that if she was crazy, then he was, too. There was no way that she would doubt his sincerity, there was no way she *could* doubt his sincerity. ‘He had been nothing but sincere for almost 41 years’, something inside her echoed.
At first she tried not to look at him, at his strong face and gorgeous amber-eyes, but her own eyes, as her hands did the day before, moved of their own accord, looking directly at him. She knew she had ‘hope’ written all over her face. Hope that he would accept what she said, and help her to understand what it meant. She was so glad that he kept his hand on her shoulder, steadying her, giving her the support she needed right now.
“My hands,” she paused, “yesterday, they just…..moved by themselves…..there was no way I could control them, and frankly, at the time I didn’t want to.” There she’d said it. Laid bare the reality she found so confusing.
“When I touched you, I felt like I *knew* you; you felt so *familiar* to me, and I knew that I had never laid eyes on you before. The strangest thing was that I didn’t want to let you go. It was like I would not be able to stand the loss,” …again…she added to herself. Regardless of what he said, she was sure that *she* had to be going mad. What other explanation was there?
She paused, chewing on her lower lip slightly, not wanting to get her secretary in trouble for divulging so much, but she had started this, and she had the feeling that *he* would want her to finish.
“Murakami-san told me a little bit about what happened to your family, and she told me that you had little boys. In my heart I somehow knew that you had *three* of them, so I was very surprised when she said you only had two. I didn’t dare say anything to her at the time.” And I probably shouldn’t have told this to you, either. She hoped that he would give her some sort of sign that he did not think her outrageously out of line to divulge her thoughts and feelings to him. After all, she’d only first seen him about 24 hours ago, hadn’t she?
no subject
“And this…whatever this ends up being…it is not madness.”
As soon as he touched her shoulder, she felt that same energy from yesterday, like a shock of static electricity that made you move forward, not jump back. Instinctively, she reached over with her other hand and brought it up to cover the one that he’d rested on her shoulder, giving it a little squeeze before dropping her hand down again. She hoped that he would leave his hand where it was, at least for a few moments more.
So he felt it too. She thought he might have from a few of his reactions yesterday at the diner. Now he was admitting it outright without hesitation.
“I would know the difference, because I have…because I know all too well what it is like to fall into such a state, and I give you my word, that I would tell you honestly if I thought ourselves compromised.”
Her eyes widened when he admitted to falling into madness. Her gut wrenched. Of course, it had to be when Yaso was killed so brutally. Her heart ached for him and she was sure that the emotion she felt was written on her face. A warm breeze on her back made her want to fold him into her arms, but she didn’t, because she had no right to do so, not yet.
After opening up to her like he did, he really deserved to know the truth. Somehow in the deep recesses of her mind she *knew* that this man did not take lightly to whom he would reveal his inner thoughts and feelings. ‘No’, she thought, ‘Hajime is a very private man, but not to me’. That thought shook her to her core. Her instincts were telling her that he *needed* to hear more from her.
She knew he’d said that if she was crazy, then he was, too. There was no way that she would doubt his sincerity, there was no way she *could* doubt his sincerity. ‘He had been nothing but sincere for almost 41 years’, something inside her echoed.
At first she tried not to look at him, at his strong face and gorgeous amber-eyes, but her own eyes, as her hands did the day before, moved of their own accord, looking directly at him. She knew she had ‘hope’ written all over her face. Hope that he would accept what she said, and help her to understand what it meant. She was so glad that he kept his hand on her shoulder, steadying her, giving her the support she needed right now.
“My hands,” she paused, “yesterday, they just…..moved by themselves…..there was no way I could control them, and frankly, at the time I didn’t want to.” There she’d said it. Laid bare the reality she found so confusing.
“When I touched you, I felt like I *knew* you; you felt so *familiar* to me, and I knew that I had never laid eyes on you before. The strangest thing was that I didn’t want to let you go. It was like I would not be able to stand the loss,” …again…she added to herself. Regardless of what he said, she was sure that *she* had to be going mad. What other explanation was there?
She paused, chewing on her lower lip slightly, not wanting to get her secretary in trouble for divulging so much, but she had started this, and she had the feeling that *he* would want her to finish.
“Murakami-san told me a little bit about what happened to your family, and she told me that you had little boys. In my heart I somehow knew that you had *three* of them, so I was very surprised when she said you only had two. I didn’t dare say anything to her at the time.” And I probably shouldn’t have told this to you, either. She hoped that he would give her some sort of sign that he did not think her outrageously out of line to divulge her thoughts and feelings to him. After all, she’d only first seen him about 24 hours ago, hadn’t she?