She kept her eyes closed, relishing the tenderness and warmth of his hand on her cheek as it seemed to call to her from another time and another place. She felt a loss when he dropped it from her face. She realized, much to her surprise, that she liked his touch; it felt familiar and comforting to her.
He was right, there *was* a lot to take in. It was reassuring to her to know that he was struggling, also, at least she wasn’t alone in this.
She listened intently to the story of his partner, Okita, her eyes widening like saucers when he mentioned that the man attributed the familiarity the two of them experienced to their association in a past life.
“Thankfully, Okita was far wiser about matters of this nature, and explained to me that I was simply remembering him from a past life. I thought he was cracked in the head at the time, and told him so…But as time passed, and we worked together, I found that his explanation had merit. I still do.”
Yes, she would agree, her first reaction would be that his old partner was, indeed, cracked in the head. Did she even believe in that sort of thing? Her life was built on logic and reason. Past lives did not fit into that context. But if not a past life, then what explanation was there? Her mind would have to process this possibility, but at the moment a past life seemed to be a very farfetched stretch of the imagination. If Saitoh thought Okita’s idea had merit, and still does, then she at least owed it to the captain to give the idea some serious thought.
He wasn’t finished yet. He seemed to save the biggest surprise for last.
It is my belief that once, long ago, we were husband and wife…I have memories of growing old by your side, of raising our three boys, of fighting to keep you safe. They are good memories, Takagi-san. You were then, as you are now, a formidable, beautiful woman and while I do not understand how these thoughts of you have managed to stay with me, I will not deny that they exist. To do so, would dishonor us both.”
Husband and *WHAT*? Did she hear him correctly, did he really say *that*? If the pressure of his hands on her shoulders hadn’t caused her feet to be firmly fixed to the floor, she would have jumped back from him in shock and disbelief. Where did he get the idea that the two of them had been married in a past life, and not only *that*, but they had three children to boot. She needed to sit down. This was emotional and mental overload. Her mind could only take so much confusion and stress.
“I have never been married before; I’ve never even *been* with a man. Surely I would remember something like that, wouldn’t I?” she blurted out, confused, her face flushing with embarrassment. She was horrified. She’d *never* said anything like *that* to a man before. She couldn’t believe that she’d revealed something so intimate to him of all people, even though he was a stranger who didn’t really feel like one.
But what if no logical, reasonable explanation could be found for what had been going on in her mind ever since she’d first seen him yesterday? She told herself that not everything in life could be explained. Above all, she did know what she felt about him, and he felt familiar to her, he drew her to him like a moth to a flame. Captain Saitoh was not a rash man, yet he believed what Okita said to be true.
Okita….Okita and blood, coughing and blood, so many, many years ago, it was another one of those strange images that seemed to flow from the inner recesses of her mind lately.
She looked him in the face, trying to read what was there. All she saw was honesty. For some reason, she had no desire to alienate him or to push him away, but her befuddled mind was telling her to do the opposite. Regardless, she stepped closer to him, reaching up to trail the fingers of her right hand lightly down his cheek. She realized that she was probably sending him mixed messages. Her body wanted him to know that she felt close to him, but her words would tell him that her mind was in a state of turmoil.
“You may come to a different conclusion and I will respect that, as will I respect your wishes in how, or even whether we work together to come to a better understanding of what has happened. Regardless of what you choose to do, I will continue to offer you what protection and support I am able.”
His last statement caused her to feel panic rising within her. She wanted to cry at the thought of *not* working together with him in order to come to some understanding about this very strange circumstance in which they were now mired.
“I am very sorry, Captain Saitoh. I appreciate you sharing your story about Okita-san with me, but I have never considered such things before. But strangely when you mentioned your partner a vision of coughing and blood imposed itself on my mind.” Maybe he could explain that one to her.
“To be honest with you, this is very difficult for me to believe. A part of me knows for *certain* that you and I have *some* sort of connection. Whatever that connection is, whatever it may have been, whatever it will be in the future….” She paused to gather her thoughts. “I know I don’t want to turn my back on it and let it go.” Because my heart will surely die if I do, she added to herself, not knowing where *that* came from.
no subject
He was right, there *was* a lot to take in. It was reassuring to her to know that he was struggling, also, at least she wasn’t alone in this.
She listened intently to the story of his partner, Okita, her eyes widening like saucers when he mentioned that the man attributed the familiarity the two of them experienced to their association in a past life.
“Thankfully, Okita was far wiser about matters of this nature, and explained to me that I was simply remembering him from a past life. I thought he was cracked in the head at the time, and told him so…But as time passed, and we worked together, I found that his explanation had merit. I still do.”
Yes, she would agree, her first reaction would be that his old partner was, indeed, cracked in the head. Did she even believe in that sort of thing? Her life was built on logic and reason. Past lives did not fit into that context. But if not a past life, then what explanation was there? Her mind would have to process this possibility, but at the moment a past life seemed to be a very farfetched stretch of the imagination. If Saitoh thought Okita’s idea had merit, and still does, then she at least owed it to the captain to give the idea some serious thought.
He wasn’t finished yet. He seemed to save the biggest surprise for last.
It is my belief that once, long ago, we were husband and wife…I have memories of growing old by your side, of raising our three boys, of fighting to keep you safe. They are good memories, Takagi-san. You were then, as you are now, a formidable, beautiful woman and while I do not understand how these thoughts of you have managed to stay with me, I will not deny that they exist. To do so, would dishonor us both.”
Husband and *WHAT*? Did she hear him correctly, did he really say *that*? If the pressure of his hands on her shoulders hadn’t caused her feet to be firmly fixed to the floor, she would have jumped back from him in shock and disbelief. Where did he get the idea that the two of them had been married in a past life, and not only *that*, but they had three children to boot. She needed to sit down. This was emotional and mental overload. Her mind could only take so much confusion and stress.
“I have never been married before; I’ve never even *been* with a man. Surely I would remember something like that, wouldn’t I?” she blurted out, confused, her face flushing with embarrassment. She was horrified. She’d *never* said anything like *that* to a man before. She couldn’t believe that she’d revealed something so intimate to him of all people, even though he was a stranger who didn’t really feel like one.
But what if no logical, reasonable explanation could be found for what had been going on in her mind ever since she’d first seen him yesterday? She told herself that not everything in life could be explained. Above all, she did know what she felt about him, and he felt familiar to her, he drew her to him like a moth to a flame. Captain Saitoh was not a rash man, yet he believed what Okita said to be true.
Okita….Okita and blood, coughing and blood, so many, many years ago, it was another one of those strange images that seemed to flow from the inner recesses of her mind lately.
She looked him in the face, trying to read what was there. All she saw was honesty. For some reason, she had no desire to alienate him or to push him away, but her befuddled mind was telling her to do the opposite. Regardless, she stepped closer to him, reaching up to trail the fingers of her right hand lightly down his cheek. She realized that she was probably sending him mixed messages. Her body wanted him to know that she felt close to him, but her words would tell him that her mind was in a state of turmoil.
“You may come to a different conclusion and I will respect that, as will I respect your wishes in how, or even whether we work together to come to a better understanding of what has happened. Regardless of what you choose to do, I will continue to offer you what protection and support I am able.”
His last statement caused her to feel panic rising within her. She wanted to cry at the thought of *not* working together with him in order to come to some understanding about this very strange circumstance in which they were now mired.
“I am very sorry, Captain Saitoh. I appreciate you sharing your story about Okita-san with me, but I have never considered such things before. But strangely when you mentioned your partner a vision of coughing and blood imposed itself on my mind.” Maybe he could explain that one to her.
“To be honest with you, this is very difficult for me to believe. A part of me knows for *certain* that you and I have *some* sort of connection. Whatever that connection is, whatever it may have been, whatever it will be in the future….” She paused to gather her thoughts. “I know I don’t want to turn my back on it and let it go.” Because my heart will surely die if I do, she added to herself, not knowing where *that* came from.