More Than a Mindful
May. 6th, 2019 04:24 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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gumi_reloadedDate: February 7, 2060
Time: Late Night
Place: Guest Bedroom, Saitoh home
Characters: Tokio
An attorney + an overactive mind is not a recipe for rest of any sort.
After Tokio tucked the sleeping Major in for the night where he'd fallen asleep on the couch she headed to bed herself in the household's extra bedroom. The attorney lay on her back, facing the ceiling, body aching, physically exhausted, but unable to sleep. She had rested during the day today, but it sure didn't feel like it at the moment. The things racing through her mind refused to allow her even a small measure of peace. There was so much to think about.
Aside from everything that Hajime had said to her only a short time ago,
“We have things we have to discuss,"
“Things you won’t like to hear,"
"Things that won’t be easy for me to ask,”
there were all sorts of other things for her to contemplate, and all of them were currently rolling around in her mind threatening to drown her.
She'd found two of her children from Meiji 1. They were safe (for now) and in the loving care of their father. Yes, she knew he loved them, even though he may never use that particular 'L' word. He was always a man of action, preferring to demonstrate what he was feeling, or what he was thinking. At least that is how it was almost two centuries ago when she was married to him. She could tell by the way he treated his boys, by the way he interacted with them, that he cared for them deeply.
So much had happened in the past few days. Up until now, she would have willingly checked herself into a treatment center for some serious counseling, if she'd even dared to have the notion that she had a life two hundred years in the past, and that she would be reunited with her loved ones from that time so long ago. Yet, that is exactly what happened. Although it had been a bit difficult to believe when the Major, then a captain, first suggested the possibility, she now embraced it as the honest truth.
Tokio knew that she would never say anything to the Major about the boys being theirs in Meiji 1. Their true mother in this era was Yaso. The attorney knew that, and she would never do anything that would damage that New Meiji truth. But Tokio knew. She knew they were hers, or rather theirs. The joy she felt because of that realization had no boundaries. She wondered if Hajime already knew what she'd just come to realize. She guessed that he had, but wasn't voicing what he thought. The only one that was missing was Tatsuo; that thought caused an ache in her heart. Had he found a family in this era, or was he still caught somewhere in limbo between that old world and this new one?
She would always be grateful to Yaso for birthing the boys, and saving their lives at the expense of her own. Being a mother, herself, even though it was almost two hundred years ago, Tokio understood why Yaso took the actions she had. There had been no other path for the woman. In the same situation the attorney would have made the same choices as Yaso-san made the day the children were threatened by death. The lives of your children were put above all else in a mother's life. Yaso made the ultimate sacrifice that day, hiding Tsutomu and Tsuyoshi, drawing the criminals away from them to protect them.
Then there was Hajime, who was completely torn apart by his wife's brutal fate. Drowning himself in alcohol was the way he tried to forget, the way he tried to punish himself for his perceived failure to protect his family. Tokio still couldn't believe that she had been so thoughtless as to put sake, even cooking sake, on the shopping list she gave him. By asking the man to buy alcohol of any sort she put temptation in his path. Someone with an alcohol addiction was faced with fighting temptation each day for the rest of their lives. She was so happy that he was strong enough to know what needed to be done. He didn't buy it. It was up to family and friends to support those who were on a sobriety journey, and she would make sure that from here on, she would be at the very least a supportive and helpful friend. She would be careful and not make a mistake like that again. She respected him and yes, still loved him, too much to endanger his sobriety for any reason.
Tonight Tokio felt like part of a family again, his family. She knew she had no right to feel that way. She knew it was incredibly presumptuous of her. Regardless, it felt good. It felt right. However, she would never share how she felt with the Major unless circumstances changed substantially. Frankly, she didn't see that happening, at least not anytime soon.
Would he be able to move beyond Yaso's death as far as his personal life was concerned? Did he even want to? Tokio didn't know, and refused to guess, not after discovering the woman's personal effects in the closet near the dojo this afternoon. Yaso-san, rightly so, still had a strong presence in this home and family. She was still in spirit the mother of this household.
But there was an unsettled feeling in the pit of her stomach. Her former husband had a target on himself before their near death incident in the parking garage, but now that he was promoted the target on him and on his (their) children would become exponentially larger. That last thought sent chills through every single bone in her body. Although this little family was not really hers in this era, she felt it was her duty to help protect them with whatever resources she could muster.
After bath-time Tsuyoshi revealed that his father 'liked' her, but she knew that a person could be 'liked' on a number of different levels. There was 'like', as in a friend or trusted co-worker, who was respected for their abilities. She wasn't naive, or stupid enough to think that he would like her as he had before, when she was married to him, even though he had shown affection towards her today. That may have been part of his release of the stress of the past day. She could only hope that perhaps in the future he would see her the same way he had when they were married. If not, she truly wanted to be his good and faithful friend, doing what she could in that capacity to lend him a hand and be there to help with his boys, if he would let her. She also knew that now that she had found him, there would be no one else for her.
As she was thinking that it must be close to midnight by now, if not past that hour, Tokio was jolted from her inner musings by a noise.
Time: Late Night
Place: Guest Bedroom, Saitoh home
Characters: Tokio
An attorney + an overactive mind is not a recipe for rest of any sort.
After Tokio tucked the sleeping Major in for the night where he'd fallen asleep on the couch she headed to bed herself in the household's extra bedroom. The attorney lay on her back, facing the ceiling, body aching, physically exhausted, but unable to sleep. She had rested during the day today, but it sure didn't feel like it at the moment. The things racing through her mind refused to allow her even a small measure of peace. There was so much to think about.
Aside from everything that Hajime had said to her only a short time ago,
“We have things we have to discuss,"
“Things you won’t like to hear,"
"Things that won’t be easy for me to ask,”
there were all sorts of other things for her to contemplate, and all of them were currently rolling around in her mind threatening to drown her.
She'd found two of her children from Meiji 1. They were safe (for now) and in the loving care of their father. Yes, she knew he loved them, even though he may never use that particular 'L' word. He was always a man of action, preferring to demonstrate what he was feeling, or what he was thinking. At least that is how it was almost two centuries ago when she was married to him. She could tell by the way he treated his boys, by the way he interacted with them, that he cared for them deeply.
So much had happened in the past few days. Up until now, she would have willingly checked herself into a treatment center for some serious counseling, if she'd even dared to have the notion that she had a life two hundred years in the past, and that she would be reunited with her loved ones from that time so long ago. Yet, that is exactly what happened. Although it had been a bit difficult to believe when the Major, then a captain, first suggested the possibility, she now embraced it as the honest truth.
Tokio knew that she would never say anything to the Major about the boys being theirs in Meiji 1. Their true mother in this era was Yaso. The attorney knew that, and she would never do anything that would damage that New Meiji truth. But Tokio knew. She knew they were hers, or rather theirs. The joy she felt because of that realization had no boundaries. She wondered if Hajime already knew what she'd just come to realize. She guessed that he had, but wasn't voicing what he thought. The only one that was missing was Tatsuo; that thought caused an ache in her heart. Had he found a family in this era, or was he still caught somewhere in limbo between that old world and this new one?
She would always be grateful to Yaso for birthing the boys, and saving their lives at the expense of her own. Being a mother, herself, even though it was almost two hundred years ago, Tokio understood why Yaso took the actions she had. There had been no other path for the woman. In the same situation the attorney would have made the same choices as Yaso-san made the day the children were threatened by death. The lives of your children were put above all else in a mother's life. Yaso made the ultimate sacrifice that day, hiding Tsutomu and Tsuyoshi, drawing the criminals away from them to protect them.
Then there was Hajime, who was completely torn apart by his wife's brutal fate. Drowning himself in alcohol was the way he tried to forget, the way he tried to punish himself for his perceived failure to protect his family. Tokio still couldn't believe that she had been so thoughtless as to put sake, even cooking sake, on the shopping list she gave him. By asking the man to buy alcohol of any sort she put temptation in his path. Someone with an alcohol addiction was faced with fighting temptation each day for the rest of their lives. She was so happy that he was strong enough to know what needed to be done. He didn't buy it. It was up to family and friends to support those who were on a sobriety journey, and she would make sure that from here on, she would be at the very least a supportive and helpful friend. She would be careful and not make a mistake like that again. She respected him and yes, still loved him, too much to endanger his sobriety for any reason.
Tonight Tokio felt like part of a family again, his family. She knew she had no right to feel that way. She knew it was incredibly presumptuous of her. Regardless, it felt good. It felt right. However, she would never share how she felt with the Major unless circumstances changed substantially. Frankly, she didn't see that happening, at least not anytime soon.
Would he be able to move beyond Yaso's death as far as his personal life was concerned? Did he even want to? Tokio didn't know, and refused to guess, not after discovering the woman's personal effects in the closet near the dojo this afternoon. Yaso-san, rightly so, still had a strong presence in this home and family. She was still in spirit the mother of this household.
But there was an unsettled feeling in the pit of her stomach. Her former husband had a target on himself before their near death incident in the parking garage, but now that he was promoted the target on him and on his (their) children would become exponentially larger. That last thought sent chills through every single bone in her body. Although this little family was not really hers in this era, she felt it was her duty to help protect them with whatever resources she could muster.
After bath-time Tsuyoshi revealed that his father 'liked' her, but she knew that a person could be 'liked' on a number of different levels. There was 'like', as in a friend or trusted co-worker, who was respected for their abilities. She wasn't naive, or stupid enough to think that he would like her as he had before, when she was married to him, even though he had shown affection towards her today. That may have been part of his release of the stress of the past day. She could only hope that perhaps in the future he would see her the same way he had when they were married. If not, she truly wanted to be his good and faithful friend, doing what she could in that capacity to lend him a hand and be there to help with his boys, if he would let her. She also knew that now that she had found him, there would be no one else for her.
As she was thinking that it must be close to midnight by now, if not past that hour, Tokio was jolted from her inner musings by a noise.
