A conversation at a crossroad.

[saitoh_hajime]

“There are moments in our lives when we find ourselves at a crossroad, afraid, confused, without a road-map. The choices we make in those moments can define the rest of our days. Of course when faced with the unknown, most of us prefer to turn around and go back.” –Lucas Scott


To read what happens next, go to Staring the Day, Saitoh Family Stile, followed by Release to the Wild. 

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[tokio_takagi]

The smell of cigarette smoke lay heavily in the kitchen air, mingling with the aroma of coffee in spite of the home's efficient air filtration system. He must have just finished a smoke. Her assessment was confirmed when she saw a few errant wisps come from an ashtray perched on the counter near the coffee maker. There was a familiar comfort in the scent. It heralded to days long gone, memories of which had been popping into her mind over the past few days.

At least the boys weren't in here to breathe that. She doubted that he smoked around them. There was enough lung-damaging pollution each time a person stepped outside. Most people went from their homes to their cars (all with electrostatic air cleaners), not choosing to go outside on days with severe pollution which now seemed to be the new normal.

He rose when she approached, motioning for her to take a seat at the table. The action spoke of manners taught a generation ago by parents who strived to raise respectful children.. She sat in the chair next to where he was sitting, his place clearly identified by a coffee cup. Her need to be close to him was overwhelming this morning.

Before retaking his place at the table he walked to the coffee maker, pouring some of the dark liquid into a sturdy mug.

"Thank you Hajime" she said to him softly, as he returned, handing it to her . "It smells wonderful!" She loved the dark roast grinds. "How are you feeling this morning? How did you sleep?" She forced a small smile to grace her lips. Her heart rate was increasing due to rising trepidation in anticipation of what he might say.

His words from last night echoed in her mind,

“We have things we have to discuss,"
“Things you won’t like to hear,"
"Things that won’t be easy for me to ask,”

Both of them would usually go directly to the point of a matter, especially her former husband. Today's important issues were a conversation leftover from last night and Tsutomu's after midnight wandering. But she wanted to have some normal morning pleasantries. It made her feel... she wanted to feel...she needed to feel like she was still a part of this precious little family in some small measure. She recognized that today may be her last opportunity to do that, ever.

There was so much to talk about. Not only what he'd outlined for her last night, but also what happened this morning with Tsutomu. He knew the boy was with her. He was the one who carried him off to his own bed. She really did not know where to start.

What would the Major want? Would he want to tell her what was on his mind or find out about his son? She guessed that he would want to know how Tsutomu wound up in the guest room with her. She would expect that of him, and of herself if she were in his position. However, she really wanted to know what he declined to discuss last night. She dreaded it and she wanted to get it over with.

If they first talked about what was lying heavily on his mind, she was sure many things were, then talking about Tsutomu afterward would help take her mind off what he told her. She was sure he was going to tell her things that were related to both of their work situations and that of he and his boys.


She did know that he wanted her help. He'd asked for it, and the situation had to be critically serious for him to ask for that. Tokio could only speculate at the moment. Was it prosecutorial help? That was a given. It was her job at the DOJ and even if it weren't, she would find someway to help him with that. Was it for the boys? She would not hesitate to come to his home and stay with them, care for them, if he needed her, especially if he had to be away from home executing his new duties as head of the MPD investigation unit.

Tokio's mind was a racetrack of thoughts, speculations, and the most likely possibilities.

It didn't take her long to find out what the Major wanted to know first. She'd guessed right and he was as direct as ever.

“Tsutomu, he remembers who are you. Who you…who we used to be"

She really wasn't surprised that Hajime knew, as she had known as soon as Tsutomu almost called her 'Mother' on his way to bed the night before. Both of them had picked up on it.

"Yes, he does" she replied simply, nodding her head involuntarily to emphasize her answer.

"How is the boy taking it?"

How is he taking it? That remained to be seen. She kept her voice low so as not to attract the attention of some cubs sleeping down the hallway. Centuries ago their children seemed to have the same ability to hear a whispered conversation as their father.

"So far he seems to be taking it well, but one can never be sure about children. You will need to watch him."


Oh how she wanted to say, 'We will need to keep an eye on him,' but she couldn't. It would be much too presumptuous of her.


She paused before continuing, "I think he was somewhat confused at first."

But wasn't she also questioning herself when first presented with the possibility of living centuries ago, and she was an adult.

"Children are resilient and can often accept things more easily than those of us who are set in our ways," especially when it is their parents doing the explaining and are there to give reassurance.

"On the other hand, children will sometimes blame themselves for causing things beyond their control," she paused, looking away from him, not wanting to verbalize her remaining thoughts. Instead the rest of what remained unspoken, things such as a divorce or a death (or their father's alcohol problem) echoed in her mind.


She contemplated what their son had said, a small sigh escaping her lips. There was more she needed to tell him. She still harbored guilt and regret for putting cooking sake on that list. She even felt worse about it when she heard Tsutomu's confession. Their poor, precious child seemed to have the weight of the world, at least of their world, on his shoulders last night.