A conversation at a crossroad.

[saitoh_hajime]

“There are moments in our lives when we find ourselves at a crossroad, afraid, confused, without a road-map. The choices we make in those moments can define the rest of our days. Of course when faced with the unknown, most of us prefer to turn around and go back.” –Lucas Scott


To read what happens next, go to Staring the Day, Saitoh Family Stile, followed by Release to the Wild. 

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[tokio_takagi]

Tokio was very pleased that the Major planned to take her suggestion about how to approach Tsutomu. It warmed her heart to know that he valued her opinion now, just as he had in their shared past. Sometimes she needed to gently remind the man that he was dealing with little boys who had fragile hearts, not a squad of battle hardened men.

“Getting married is the logical course of action....”

Tokio's eyes opened wide in surprise but she did not turn to look at him. She just hung onto his hand. Could she really trust her ears? She felt like she had definitely missed something in this discussion they were having.

Marriage? Did he really say that word? Tokio was stunned into silence. How could she have misread this conversation? Is that what her former husband was trying to say to her? The attorney wondered how she could be so clueless

"Tokio?”

"Yes," she stammered in reply.

“Tokio. Look at me.”

She didn't have a choice as his hand reached for her chin and gently guided it so she was facing him, having no option but to look at him. What she saw in his face broke her heart.

“What..."

The attorney could tell he was at loss for words, which concerned and scared her because that never happened before when they were immersed in a serious discussion.

“Tokio, I promised you that I’d not take anything you weren’t willing to give. Is this not what you want?”

The loss of warmth from his hand when he drew away gave her an empty feeling which led her to realize that she was going to have to be the one who was direct, because he was confused about her feelings for him. She wondered how both of them could have misread what was in each other's heart.

Tokio knew why. It was because neither wanted to pressure or push the other as to whether they should resume the life they shared two hundred years ago. Both were giving the utmost consideration to the other, presuming nothing. In addition there was no way the attorney would push him to commit to a relationship if he was still mired in the tragic events of this era

Hajime was so good at clearly articulating anything other than matters having to do with relationships, or love. How could she have been so stupid not read between the lines to discern what he was really telling her. Hadn't she been much better at doing that in the past? She rationalized that, where he was concerned, she had been out of practice for a couple of centuries.

Tokio's emotions were running wild, a mixture of joy, relief and now a dawning understanding of what this wonderful, decent man whom she loved dearly was trying to let her know.

“I will, of course, respect your wishes in this matter.”

This matter? This matter? If she didn't love him so much she sure would have taken issue with those words (love and life-long commitment were no mere 'matter') until it quickly dawned on her that his choice of words had to be his way of protecting himself, of bracing himself to hear something he would rather not hear.

Oh Hajime..," she let out, turning in the chair so she could throw both arms around his neck. Pulling him closer, pressing her cheek against his chest, Tokio blurted out, voice full of remorse, "I... am... so... sorry....please forgive me." The attorney was mortified at how badly she'd misinterpreted what he was trying to tell her.

Realizing that she caused her former husband such grief resulted in a feeling of guilt, accompanied by a sharp pain, to well in her chest. Tears were now coursing down Tokio's cheeks. She really had to stop doing this. His shirt was going to get damp with her tears for the second time in two days.

"Please forgive me for misunderstanding you," she spoke softly into his shirt. "I didn't know if you were ready yet, to move past what happened to Yaso-san, so you could devote yourself to someone else...to me." Tokio sniffled before continuing, "I was willing to stand beside you, support you and wait for you no matter how long it took. "

"What I really want, if you want me to stay with you," she continued,"is to be your wife again." Tokio's voice was now a mere whisper, "That is all I ever wanted, Hajime. You are all I ever wanted, then and now." She'd just voiced her heart's only desire to him, her long lost, but now found, better half.